How to Write an Obituary That Truly Honors Your Loved One

A Step-by-Step Guide from Someone Who Recently Walked This Journey

OBITUARY WRITING


When my mom passed away, I thought writing her obituary would be one of the easiest parts of planning her homegoing.

I was wrong.

Somehow, I was expected to summarize 77 years of love, laughter, sacrifice, family traditions, and unforgettable moments into a few short paragraphs.

I stared at a blank page for what felt like hours.

Where do you even begin? 

Do you start with where they were born?

Their career?

Their children?

The funny stories everyone remembers?

Or do you somehow try to explain the kind of person they were?

The truth is, there isn't one "right" way to write an obituary.

And that's exactly why I created this guide.

At Was It Sad?, we help families create beautiful funeral programs and memorial tributes. I'd truly be honored to help tell your loved one's story. But I also understand that funerals can be incredibly expensive, and sometimes every dollar matters.

If hiring someone simply isn't in the budget, this guide is my gift to you.

I hope it helps make one small part of this difficult journey a little easier.

What Is an Obituary?

An obituary is more than a list of dates and accomplishments.

It's the story of a life.

It's the final introduction many people will read.

Years from now, grandchildren may discover it.

Future generations may learn about someone they never had the chance to meet.

So don't feel like you have to make it sound formal.

Make it sound like them.

Step 1: Begin With the Basics

Start with the essential information.

Include:

  • Full name
  • Nickname (if they were lovingly known by one)
  • Age
  • Date of passing
  • City and state
  • Date of birth (optional)

Example:

Mary Elizabeth Johnson, lovingly known as "Miss Mary," peacefully entered eternal rest on March 12, 2026, at the age of 77, surrounded by her family.

Step 2: Tell Their Story

This is where the obituary becomes meaningful.

Think beyond facts.

Ask yourself:

  • What made them smile?
  • What were they passionate about?
  • What did they spend their weekends doing?
  • What would everyone say about them?
  • What made them unforgettable?

Instead of writing:

She loved her family.

Write something like: "She never missed a birthday, always made enough food for unexpected guests, and believed no one should leave her home hungry."

People remember stories.

Not summaries.

Step 3: Celebrate Their Accomplishments

This doesn't have to mean awards or titles.

Accomplishments look different for everyone.

Maybe they:

  • Raised five children.
  • Served in the military.
  • Started a business.
  • Sang in the church choir for 40 years.
  • Volunteered every Thanksgiving.
  • Never missed a grandchild's basketball game.

Those things matter.

Step 4: Mention the People They Loved

Traditionally, obituaries include immediate family.

You might list:

  • Spouse
  • Children
  • Grandchildren
  • Great-grandchildren
  • Siblings
  • Parents
  • Close relatives

If your family is large, you don't have to list everyone individually.

It's perfectly acceptable to write:

She leaves behind a large, loving family who will forever cherish her memory.

Step 5: Share Their Personality

This is my favorite part.

What made them... them?

Were they:

  • The family comedian?
  • The neighborhood grandmother?
  • The toughest person in the room?
  • Quiet but always dependable?
  • Famous for Sunday dinners?

Those are the details people treasure.

Step 6: Include Service Information

Don't forget the practical details.

Include:

  • Funeral date
  • Time
  • Location
  • Repast (if applicable)
  • Viewing information

This section can be simple and straightforward.

Step 7: End With Hope

Many families choose to end with:

  • A favorite Bible verse
  • A meaningful quote
  • A short poem
  • A personal message

There isn't a wrong choice.

Choose something that feels true to your loved one.

Questions to Help You Write

If you're stuck, answer these questions first.

  • What made everyone laugh?
  • What advice did they always give?
  • What were they known for?
  • What brought them joy?
  • What would people miss most?
  • What kind of legacy did they leave?
  • What lesson did they teach your family?

Those answers often become the obituary.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Human

One thing I wish someone had told me...

Your obituary doesn't have to be perfect.

It just has to be honest.

When I wrote my mom's obituary, I kept rewriting sentences because I wanted every word to be worthy of her.

Eventually, I realized something.

No collection of paragraphs could ever fully capture who she was.

But it could help people remember.

And maybe that's enough.

Need Help? We'd Be Honored.

If reading this feels overwhelming, please know you don't have to do everything alone.

At Was It Sad?, we create thoughtful funeral program collections and memorial designs that celebrate every unique life—not just the day someone passed away.

We'll help you organize memories, photos, stories, and details into a beautiful keepsake your family will treasure for years to come. Feel free to check out our Funeral program packages & Pricing.

Because every family deserves a beautiful tribute.

Whether you create it yourself or allow us the privilege of helping you.

A Final Thought

One sentence changed how I thought about writing my mother's obituary:

Don't try to summarize their life. Help people remember how it felt to know them.

That's the story your loved one deserves.

And because every homegoing deserves a back story, every life deserves to be remembered with love.


Need help creating a beautiful funeral program?